Christkindlmarkt Shares Holiday Cheer with Record Number of Visitors for 2nd Year in a Row

Holiday marketplace draws nearly 70,000 people to Bethlehem for the Christmas season

An expanded Christkindlmarkt Bethlehem, highlighted by a record number of artisans, drew 69,439 people – an all-time high – to the Christmas City this Christmas season. The 2016 Christkindlmarkt attendance topped the previous record of 64,612, set in 2015, by 7.5 percent.

The 2016 version of Christkindlmarkt featured the first major changes at the holiday marketplace since it moved to SteelStacks in 2011. Among the enhancements this year were the addition of two new shopping tents, one of which featured an all-new home for the event’s popular St. Nicholas; major enhancements to the event’s holiday decor; and the addition of new children’s attractions such as the holiday craft activities presented by Banana Factory artists and the opportunity to meet the Just Born PEEPS® Chick on select Saturdays.

From Dec. 8-11, more than 19,000 people strolled Christkindlmarkt’s aisles while looking for unique gifts for family and friends, the most ever for a single weekend in the event’s 24-year history.

“As a community-based arts and cultural organization, ArtsQuest has long been committed to using our programming and events as tools for urban revitalization, as well as supporting tourism and economic development in our city and region,” says ArtsQuest President and CEO Kassie Hilgert. “Over the past two years, we have made Christkindlmarkt one of our top priorities, dedicating additional resources to expanding and promoting the event with the goal of attracting even more people to Bethlehem at Christmastime.

“We’re thrilled that so many Lehigh Valley residents and out-of-town guests visited Bethlehem this year, not only to experience Christkindlmarkt, but also to enjoy many of the other events and attractions the city has to offer.”

In addition to supporting local tourism efforts, the expansion of Christkindlmarkt also highlights ArtsQuest’s renewed commitment to providing additional opportunities for area artisans to support their livelihood via events like Musikfest and other festivals. This year, Christkindlmarkt featured 190 different artisans and vendors during its five-week run, with 60 percent of them coming from the Lehigh Valley and surrounding areas of Eastern Pennsylvania.

“Christkindlmarkt is the single-largest fundraiser we do every year to support our free arts and cultural programing for the region, more than 65 percent of which is free,” she says.

“We appreciate all of the support from our artists, vendors, volunteers, sponsors and patrons who helped to make this year one for the record books. Next year will mark the 25th anniversary of Christkindlmarkt and we can’t wait to get started on the planning for this very special year.”

Thank You

“This has been the best Christmas season in our 94-year history,” Costello says. “Our occupancy is up over five percent and our room revenue is up 20 percent. Foot traffic into the hotel is also up and the trolley between the North and South sides is a real hit with guests. They love how easy it is to go from one side of the city to the other.”
Dennis Costello, General Manager of the Historic Hotel Bethlehem

“Although I only travel 100 miles or less from my home for arts and crafts events, I have shipped orders to 35 states this year. I know that the national draw of ArtsQuest events such as Christkindlmarkt is the reason why a small, local artisan such as myself can have such a nationwide customer base. My business philosophy of selling locally and sourcing supplies locally means that I rely on events such as Christkindlmarkt to be the backbone of my business. The large draw of the event means I can count on it providing 15 percent of my yearly sales, as well as residual sales throughout the year from the event’s patrons.”
Hedge Sefcovic, Owner of A Natural Alternative Soaps & Toiletries

“The holiday season is one of the busiest and most important times of the year for our merchants here in the city. Thanks to attractions like Christkindlmarkt, Historic Bethlehem’s nighttime bus tours and beautiful Central Moravian Church, Bethlehem has become known as one of the premier destinations in the United States to celebrate the holidays. While many people visit the Christmas City for Christmas, the real benefit to our city is that many of them will return throughout the year to patronize our businesses, shopping districts and restaurants.”
Bethlehem Mayor Robert Donchez

Dates for Christkindlmarkt 2017 – the silver anniversary of the event – are Nov. 17-19 and 24-26; Nov. 30-Dec. 3; and Dec. 7-10, 14-17 and 21-23, 2017.

For more information, visit www.christmascity.org.

Christkindlmarkt Drawing Guests from Near and Far

Event’s Last Weekend Taking Place This Thursday-Sunday

By Merry Sue Baum

For nearly a quarter-century, Christkindlmarkt has been touching the lives of young and old, with 60,000 people annually visiting the holiday market during the holiday season. Whether it’s the smile on a mother’s face as her son meets St. Nicholas for the very first time, or the look of wonder on a child’s face as she watches the ice carvers working their magic on a block of ice, the event evokes the spirit of the holidays in all of us.

This year’s Christkindlmarkt has drawn a near-record number of attendees, with people visiting from up and down the East Coast. Here’s what a few of our guests this year had to say about why the event is so special to them:

Shirley Slonaker and Claire Eng – A Relative Outing

Shirley Slonaker & Claire Eng

Visiting from Maryland, Shirley Slonaker and her husband, Mick, joined their relatives, Claire and Jack Eng, for a day of shopping after Thanksgiving.

“Christkindlmarkt itself is very pretty, and the area around it is so interesting,” Shirley says. “I’m struck by all of the old structures and the skeletons of the old buildings. It’s wonderful how the history of the town has been preserved.”

As for the shopping, both Shirley and Claire agree that the variety and craftsmanship of Christkindlmarkt’s 100-plus artisans is outstanding.

“The prices are fair, too,” Claire says. “You can see that these artisans take great pride in what they do.”

Marveling at the Hoover Mason Trestle and the other attractions at SteelStacks, the quartet decides to check out other areas of the campus, noting there’s so much to enjoy.

“We’ll definitely come back in the spring and explore more of Bethlehem,” Shirley says.

Mary and Walter Wimer – An Anniversary to Remember

Mary & Walter Wimer

Mary and Walter Wimer wanted to spend their 25th wedding anniversary “someplace Christmassy,” so they decided to visit the Christmas City this year. Following a five-hour drive, the Pittsburgh couple spent two wonderful days taking in all Bethlehem has to offer including Main Street shopping, the Bethlehem by Night bus tour, local restaurants and Christkindlmarkt.

“We loved all of it,” Mary says. “The Christmas market is just wonderful. There are so many unique things; I’d love one of everything.”

Ahmad Jackson – A Taste of Christmas

For Ahmad Jackson of Freehold, N.J., there’s a joy in sampling Christkindlmarkt’s food, like the popular dips offered by one of the vendors.

“These are yummy,” he says. “I might just have to get myself some.”

After hearing from a co-worker about all the treasures Christkindlmarkt has to offer, Ahmad and his wife, Arlene Franz, decided it was time to make the trip.

“It beautiful,” Arlene says. “The things you see here are unique. You know whatever you buy, someone will ask you, ‘Where’d you get that.’ We’ll definitely be back next year.”

Nancy Young – A Day Out with Friends

Nancy Young “A Day Out with Friends”

Sporting a new hat that she bought, Cari Gearhart of Ambler and her mother, ArtsQuest Member Nancy Young, went on a day-long, post-Thanksgiving outing with their friends, Ana and Mark Brown of Horsham. The group began by having brunch at Hotel Bethlehem and stopped to pick up gifts in the hotel’s boutique. Then, it was off to Christkindlmarkt and a walk along the Hoover Mason Trestle.

“My husband, my father and my father-in-law all worked at Bethlehem Steel,” says Nancy. “The blast furnaces and the trestle are truly monuments to the city’s history.”

The Browns, who are both retired teachers, described the SouthSide campus in just two words – “Totally awesome” – and now the quartet plans to make a Christmas visit to the Christmas City an annual outing.

Christkindlmarkt’s final weekend is this Thursday-Sunday, Dec. 15-18. Make sure you stop by and pick up your unique, handmade gifts for the loved ones on your list!

Top Songs of 2016:
ArtsQuest Staff Picks

None of the ArtsQuest staff would work here if they didn’t live for music and the arts. To share our passion, we put together a list of top song choices from 2016. We hope you’ll enjoy our eclectic mix of musical tastes and discover some great new tunes.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Since he’s in charge of booking our major acts throughout the year, we let Patrick pick his Top 5 and gave him top billing. The rest of our staff picked their favorite song and they’re listed in order of when the pick was submitted (slackers are at the bottom).

CLICK HERE FOR OUR SPOTIFY PLAYLIST

Patrick Brogan – Chief Programming Officer & Manager of the ArtsQuest Center

1. The Record Company – “Off The Ground”

It’s gritty, a little dirty, blues, soul, rock and roll. I want to hear this in a bar room somewhere. The slide guitar licks as well as distorted bass and drums run in stark contrast to some of the more clean pop songs on my list, but I’m digging The Record Company’s sound just as much. Frontman Chris Vos, who grew up on a dairy farm in Wisconson, has vocals filled with determination and power.

2. Mondo Cozmo – “Shine”

It’s a sing-a-long anthem. Joshua Ostrander (of Eastern Conference Champions) is here with his group Mondo Cozmo and they could easily take SiriusXM Radio by storm with some of their singles like Shine or Hold On To Me. But their live show is supposedly one that knocks it completely out of the park so look for them on festival lineups all over the country in 2017. See for yourself!

3. Hippo Campus – “Suicide Saturday”

Refreshing in rhythm, though not necessarily in message, this single is one of the catchiest refrains of the year for me that I have somewhat regularly found myself humming. Hippo Campus, from Minnesota, has another single “South” equally worth checking out with some beautiful, sweeping melodies.

4. The Avett Brothers – “Ain’t No Man”

It’s no secret I’m a fan of the indie folk rockers from Mount Pleasant, NC. This year’s release of “True Sadness” featured some great singles very much in the vein of their music like Fisher Road to Hollywood and my kids’ favorite on the album Smithsonian. But it was the slightly pop gospel feel of “Ain’t No Man” that I had on repeat for much of the spring/summer after its release. It’s a fun, uplifting, sing-along which captures a bit of the Avetts’ live show magic. Plus the video is one of the more entertaining they have every put out.

5. Two Door Cinema Club – “Bad Decisions”

A heavy 80’s influence from these Irish indie rockers, it’s a beat that moves you from start to finish through the song. I like the guitar line along with the synth throughout. Bad Decisions devolves into a bit of a messy party anthem in parts and, typical of TDCC, keeps your feet moving the whole time.

Ben Youngerman – Marketing Manager

Korn – “Rotting in Vain”

20+ years after their eponymous debut reinvented heavy music, Korn is still bringing the brutality. When most of their nu-metal contemporaries have fallen, Korn’s album “The Serenity of Suffering” is the band’s best work since 2002. The Grammy-nominated lead single “Rotting in Vain” has all the elements of a great Korn track: an eerie buildup, killer riffs, Jonathan Davis’s scat vocals and passionate lyrics. It’s a fresh take on their classic sound that has amped up this Korn kid for two decades.

Jon Lunger – Director of Marketing

Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein – “Stranger Things (Main Theme)”

Holy. Crap. This. Show. Is. Everything. If you haven’t watched this Netflix show yet, what are you waiting for? Also where have you been all year? It’s John Carpenter meets Stephen King meets Steven Spielberg. The eerie synth theme perfectly captures the vibe of the show, but what I really love is the remix of Childish Gambino on top of it.

https://youtu.be/FpHNlx0pPIU

Nicholas Michael – Business Development Manager

Parquet Courts – “Human Performance”

It is a flawless tune. Quirky, silky, smooth and jagged all in one place. Best single from the best album that I have heard all year.

Alexis Slavish – Ticket Services Assistant

Adele – “Hello”

I just like Adele’s music!

Chris Stubbe – Volunteer & Internship Programs Manager

Childish Gambino – “Boogieman”

2016 seems to be the year where Hip Hop and R&B began to make a conscious effort of getting back to their roots; from funk influences in R&B releases like Bruno Mars and The Weeknd, to a return of the poetic flow and heavy jazz roots within Kendrick Lamar and Frank Ocean’s latest. Childish Gambino takes all of these influences and lays them out in “Awaken, My Love!” a flawless 49-minute album that exudes nostalgia. “Boogieman” itself stands out to me the most for it’s undeniable Frank Zappa inspired oddness.

Helen Smith – Talent Buyer

Wild Nothing – “To Know You”

“To Know You” is such a cool song from this year. Wild Nothing’s whole album, “Life of Pause,” is an outstanding work of artistry in the music world in my opinion, but this particular song stands on its own. I picture myself in a club in the 80’s dancing to it. I defy anyone NOT to dance to it! Its airy melody and synths drive the listener along like they’re in their car in some John Hughes movie. Then they crack a smirk and the credits start rolling. I’m also a big fan of the melodic line that’s reminiscent of Talk Talk’s “It’s My Life.” Synths forever.

Joann Ring – Director, Office of the President

Adele – “Sweetest Devotion”

First of all, Adele’s voice is unparalleled. But the lyrics on this show empowerment over past emotions while still being vulnerable to share those emotions and discover new ones.

Emily Cummins – Public Relations Coordinator

Bruno Mars – “24K Magic”

No shame. The only thing bad about this song is that it came out too late to be my summer jam. Homage-pop, electro-funk revival… I don’t care what you call it, I love it.

Cory Stelzman – Performing Arts Coordinator

Lucius – “Almost Makes Me Wish For Rain”

Picking one song from 2016 was near impossible, but I ultimately landed on this song because it has a bunch of qualities that are important to me. First, it’s catchy and one of those songs I could probably play in a room full of people with different musical interests and it wouldn’t be skipped for Taylor Swift (I hope). Second, I can listen to it repeatedly and then come back to it a week or so later and still not be sick of it! (Cool.) Third, I saw them perform this song this past year at SXSW and it was all around awesome. Their whole look and sound is fun and unique.

Linda Colonna – Accounts Payable Specialist

Broods – “Free”

It has been quite the year of sifting for me, and this song has been a go to of mine through all of my expected (and unexpected) losses this year. On the other side of each situation, however, came an immense amount of freedom. She captures the mix of emotions so perfectly in this song and because of that, and many other reasons I cannot disclose, this is my favorite song of 2016. Enjoy!

Rhonda Gillespie – VP of Finance & Controller

Tedeschi Trucks Band – “Anyhow”

Tedeschi Trucks is one of my favorite bands, and this tune is certainly one of my most played in 2016. I can listen to it over and over, and never get sick of it. It’s about loving again after betrayal and while the message itself is a great one, Susan Tedeschi’s voice is also just so pure and full of emotion, backed by those horns and her husband Derek Trucks’ slide guitar – you cannot help but get lost in all that raw talent and almost forget about the lyrics. I stumbled upon this video which actually made me love the song even more. You feel like you are right there with them, chilling out in their studio watching these gifted musicians all around you doing their thing. This tune is an instant mood lifter for me.

Abby Cooke – Human Resources Assistant

Pentatonix – “Hallelujah”

I love acapella music, and this cover by Pentatonix is absolutely chilling. Every time I listen to this song I get goosebumps from the harmonies. Bottom line: it’s awesome.

Stacie Brennan – Sr. Director of Visual Arts

Aurora – “Lucky”

A favorite song for our family. The lyrics and melody are very inspirational and uplifting. I love hearing my little girls sing the lyrics around the house.

Michelle Veresink Richmond – Membership Manager

Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness – “Fire Escape”

I have loved Andrew’s music since his Something Corporate days when I was in high school and college. I have loved watching his career develop and listening to all of the new music that he created at every stage. I love this song because it has a bit of a catchy new vibe to it, but yet it is so authentic and true to the musician he has always been.

Teena Renfrow – Box Office Manager

Eric Church – “Record Year”

I heard this song the first time on an awards show and it immediately grabbed me. It reminds me of growing up with my parents flipping thru their 45’s, never listening to the whole song but Dad putting one on and Mom just getting into dancing to it until he pulled it off to put another one on. Even now when I visit, he still loves putting on different vinyl listening to snippets of them. Even though it is a sad song, so many of these musicians were a part of my childhood and besides really loving the sound of it, it is sentimental for me.

Brittany DeSantis – Graphic Design Assistant

Te Vaka & Lin-Manuel Miranda – “We Know the Way” from Disney’s Moana

I love the rhythm of the song and the native language used in the beginning. There is just something about listening to music where I don’t understand the lyrics that makes me appreciate it more as a whole. I also adore the lyrics in English in the second half of the song and the message it has, speaking to the heart of the wanderers and travelers. It is the perfect song for this film, encompassing the core themes of adventures and home. The music also supports the lyrics well, the Island/Tribal feel of the drums in the beginning give it a cultural taste and set the tone, and then the addition of strings and various instruments throughout the first verse building up to the end makes me feel like I’m about to go on an adventure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zo_qZLB4MuI

Hillary Harper – Senior Manager of Visual Arts

Childish Gambino – “Redbone”

This whole album was a shock to my system. After loving Donald Glover on Community, hearing these songs was like finding out your crush nurses sick puppies back to health ON TOP OF being a stone fox. Good stuff.

Mike Matuczinski – Web Development Manager

Metallica – “Spit Out the Bone”

Someone had to do it. A return to form for the band and the songwriting duo of Hetfield/Ulrich. Big riffs, great guitar harmonies and one of the best vocal performances the band has put to tape… or computer. Not perfect but what is?

Angel Gable – Graphic Arts Manager

Bishop Briggs – “River”

There’s just something about the vocals on this song. They’re strong, raw and primal. The song is sticky, gets caught in your head. It makes me want to crank the volume in the car and sing.

Matthew Gotzon – Partnership Activation Specialist

Childish Gambino – “California”

If you know anything about Childish Gambino (Donald Glover) it’s that he is incredibly talented in every spectrum of entertainment. He wrote for 30 Rock, acted on Community, had an hour-long stand up special, has made several Rap/Hip-Hop albums and mixtapes, and most recently created/wrote/directed/acted in the spectacular show Atlanta. Yet it’s still surprising to see that he could come out with a funk album and absolutely crush it. “California” is one on my favorites from the “Awaken, My Love” album, but I suggest you listen to it all!

Ryan Hill – Programming Director

Chance the Rapper feat. Saba – “Angels”

Maybe I needed my favorite song in a total ****box of a year to be upbeat, or maybe this track is just damn solid. It’s actually both of those things.

Nicole Dotta – Director of New Business Development

Old Dominion – “Snapback”

Old Dominion is without question my favorite band of 2016. Every song is playful and fun, especially one of their biggest hits of 2016, “Snapback.” The song’s lyrics are clever and catchy and was the #1 requested tune this summer by my little boys.

Kassie Hilgert – President & CEO

Mondo Cozmo – “Shine”

Growing up in the rock opera era, this songs harkens back to some of those tracks with the choir backing up the chorus. His voice, with its overtones of Bob Dylan, is restrained and soulful with lyrics that are at once melancholy and hopeful. From a brass section to a grinding guitar solo, this song covers and evokes a range of emotions.

Gerard Longo – Event Staff

The Wayside Shakeup – “Stay Up”

As anyone who contributes to the local music scene would know, chasing our passions requires a lot of late nights and long drives, which often affects our relationships with the ones we care about most. Philly’s The Wayside Shakeup captured that brilliantly behind the sensitive, yet rugged vocals of Rob Volansky and the horn accents of Swift Technique’s Greg Rosen.

Lisa Harms – Director of Education & Outreach

Bon Iver – “22 (Over Soon)”

Haunting and cryptic, the songs on Bon Iver’s latest album conjure up a broad range of emotions. Sometimes soothing, sometimes unsettling, the melody of 22 (Over Soon) draws you in and stays with you.

Chuck Kuczynski – Director of Donor Relations

Hamilton Leithauser and Rostam – “Peaceful Morning”

The twang of a plucked banjo, depth of vocal harmonies, the subtle acoustic bass in the background, elements that speak to experiences and memories of places and people, all with the anticipation of the next meeting. There is a warmth in the crooning vocals of former Walkmen front man, Hamilton Leithauser while Rostam (of Vampire Weekend) has helped produce an inspiring narrative of timeless adventure, ghosts of a previous life, existence of a future filled with relationships, inspiration, hope, and boundless positivity waiting to be found in the next encounter or radiant dream.

BONUS SPOTIFY PLAYLIST!

John Hodgman: The Daily Show, Aliens and Raccoon Poop

By Ben Youngerman, ArtsQuest Marketing Manager

Comedian John Hodgman thinks he’s living in a virtual reality machine wandering the cosmos. Since joining The Daily Show as a contributor in 2006, Hodgman feels like such an unlikely person so receive the type of work he has mastered over the years. Currently, he’s the host of the Judge John Hodgman podcast, writes a weekly column for New York Times Magazine as Judge John Hodgman, appears in the show Red Oaks on Amazon, and voices John Glaser’s personal assistant Geary on TruTV’s John Glaser Loves Gear (“It’s wonderful to be able to perform in the nude, which has always been my dream.”)

But when he performs his one-man show “Vacationland” at the Musikfest Cafe presented by Yuengling on November 17, you’ll finally get to see and hear the real, but still hilarious, side of John Hodgman.

We’re very excited to have you here on November 17 for your show…

Hang on, let me check my calendar. Let me check my calendar. Pause. Yup, that’s what I got!

Phew. We’re glad you’re still free. What can fans expect from your “Vacationland” show?

“Vacationland” is a series of personal and true stories about me, an asthmatic child of the city, spending time awkwardly in two distinct wildernesses: the woods of western Massachusetts and the painful, painful beaches of coastal Maine. And along the way I encounter various terrifying events such as taking my garbage to the dump to throw it in a hole and confronting the men who work there, and mysterious river witches of the Pioneer Valley of western Massachusetts and the angry craftspeople who turn wood into boats in Maine.

It’s a story about growing up because when you live in New York City, as I do, you can delude yourself into thinking you are still a young person. Because the city is designed to keep you in a state of perpetual adolescence. You never have to drive, you never have to learn to drive, you can stay up all night in bars with your friends, convince yourself that you’re still in your 20’s. Even if you have your own home, it’s still an apartment which is basically a glorified dorm room. You never have to learn any adult skills or learn how to fix anything in your house because if anything breaks you don’t fix it you call a landlord or super or some other surrogate dad to fix it for you. You don’t need to know what a septic system is. I don’t know what a septic system is and I think I own two of them now. I don’t know what they are.

As someone who just turned 30, all of those are hurtful truths…

We don’t know how to do things the way grown ups of a generation or two ago did. Too many services are foisted upon us until you are alone in the woods with a raccoon latreen on your porch. That’s when you have to learn. Let me give you a hint: if a raccoon poops all over your porch, do not just go out there and clean it up. For 90% of all raccoons and 100% of all of those raccoons’ poops, there is a parasitic roundworm that if it gets into your brain, it will cause you to go into a coma and possibly die. So put on a mask, buy a jump suit and get as far away as possible and call someone to do it for you. Or if you have to do it for yourself take real care. Honestly, I learned this the hard way, the CDC recommends removing raccoon poop by burning it with fire. So that’s why I had to get a flamethrower.

It’s like the old poop in a brown paper bag on a doorstep trick, but to the next level.

Yeah, I mean, if you teamed up with a raccoon and got it to poop into a paper bag and put it on your enemy’s porch and lit it on fire, you would be a murderer. It would not just be a funny trick to watch to that person stamp out that poop, you’d be putting raccoon coma poop on that guy’s foot and maybe even in his body. You would not be able to live with yourself, so don’t do it.

Don’t murder anyone with raccoon poop is a good advice for everyone.

Yes, nature is cruel. It has seeded the woods with wasps and mice and snakes and things that don’t want you there including raccoons that poop poison! It is hard to keep track of which animals in life to love and care for and which to murder with traps and poison.

Most folks know you from The Daily Show; what is your “Deranged Millionaire” persona up to these days?

Oh, I took off my Deranged Millionaire skin and put it in a closet the minute Donald Trump declared his candidacy for President last June. I realized that whole bit was inspired in need by Donald Trump going on all the news channels and claiming Barack Obama wasn’t born in the United States, and all of a sudden he was constantly being sought out as a commentator on the news simply for being a cartoon caricature of a rich person. At the time, we were also going through the aftermath of Occupy Wall Street and a lot of national discussion about wealth inequality and the concentration of power among the 1%. So I said to The Daily Show, we need to have a Trumpian figure on the show because everyone needs to know what the rich people are thinking, and certainly all the rich people think that everybody needs to know what they’re thinking.

So that was the genesis of my character, but once Trump decided to run for President, while you think that character would become more necessary than ever, in fact, he became absolutely obsolete immediately. I think we’ve seen this over the past 18 months, there is no comedy that I felt that I could do as my character that could rival the long-form improv comedy that Donald Trump has been doing himself. There is no exaggeration of him that would ridicule or rival the increasing exaggeration of himself that he is doing all the time.

He’s basically the third-beat of an improv show, he’s the most heightened version is what you’re saying?

Yeah, yeah. There’s no way to go beyond him and there’s no point. I also did not particularly care to suggest that anything about what he was doing was funny or hilarious because it’s equally terrifying. We talk about virtual reality being the next art form. Donald Trump created a virtual reality before our eyes. An alternate dimension where Donald Trump is taken seriously as a candidate, must be taken seriously as a candidate and can say and do the things that he does and suffer no political consequences for it. It’s incredible. So I think at one point I stumbled and fell through a dimensional portal in which Donald Trump was running for President. Who could imagine such a crazy thing. Well, now it is our lives.

So it was around that time that I already had been doing standup and storytelling on my once weekly, now monthly secret show just to figure out what was in my mind after my last book and tour and I discovered that while so much of my comedic career had been built on absurd truths and invented truths and personas and caricatures, I felt more inclined to drop the last costume. Instead of being some version of John Hodgman, just being myself. Loathsome, young middle-aged, badly facial-haired, aging, only-child, weirdo, nerd dad.

You got to tell jokes for the President of the United States at the Radio and Television Correspondents’ Dinner. Looking back 8 years, what was that like?

It’s still astonishing and hard to look back on because I remember so little of it. I mean the thing that really gets me is the distortion field that the President causes is very, very powerful. Such that even though we had a conversation, I remember not a single word of what he said to me. It’s all Charlie Brown Teacher language. It just came off as “womp womp WOMP womp!” It was basically like “Hello, Mr. President.” “Wa Womp womp womp WOMP!” “Yes, Mr. President.” “Womp womp WOMP womp womp womp womp.” “Thank you, Mr. President.” I’m so sad that my brain was so freaked out that it ceased accepting memories.

But I do remember having a really good time, and do distinctly remember that the whole trick of the routine was to get him to flash the “Live Long and Prosper” Vulcan salute hand sign. I thought I was going to have to nerd shame him into doing it by the end of the talk. But the minute I said Mr. Spock. By the time I said “Mr. Spo–” he had that sign up. He was already doing it. That was a fun moment to trade a Star Trek Vulcan salute with the President of the United States.

You have given a few TED Talks, especially about the Fermi Paradox and finding aliens that you gave a few years ago. Since then, have you found any extra evidence or discovered anything to prove that aliens are real?

So the premise of that talk, all of the stories of those weird occurrences, those weird people who talked to me on the street when I was a child in Ocean City, New Jersey. The weird fact that they did make a movie about Christopher Walken receiving an anal probe from an alien. The weird fact that I managed to go on dates with women in my life. These completely un-explainable events were cover memories for actual alien encounters, like my talk with the President, my brain had erased or twisted it into lies. Since then, and especially since 2008 when I gave that TED Talk, my career has just grown more and more implausible I’ve gotten to meet more and more of my heroes and work on more and more interesting and unexpected TV shows and movies. I mean, when you look at me, I’m the last person that should be involved in visual media of any kind. I wonder if now that the truth is that I’ve been in a simulation, that I’ve been asleep in a suspension pod in an alien spacecraft since about 2006. Since the day I first went on The Daily Show I feel like none of it is possibly real, and this Donald Trump delusion is proof that reality would not allow this to happen. So I’m in a simulation.

You wrote a trilogy of books with fake historical trivia in them. Your show at SteelStacks on November 17, you’ll be doing standup in the shadow of the Bethlehem Steel blast furnaces where we made steel for the Golden Gate Bridge, the Empire State Building, Madison Square Garden and ships for World War II. Do you have any fake trivia facts that you can tell us about Bethlehem Steel?

Well, first of all, let me just say thank you for all of those things. And second, the unfortunate answer is no, because making up fake trivia is actually more work than you’d think. I would have to do, and now intend to do, more research into the history of the blast furnaces so I could craft some weird, absurd fact that has a little bit of resonance of truth in it because that’s where the fun comes from. Also because making up fake facts isn’t what I do anymore. I mean it was something that had come so naturally to me for about eight years and then all of a sudden I just felt like telling real facts. That’s basically what I’ve been doing in my on stage storytelling and standup since then. I’m sorry that I can’t tell a lie about your city. I’m more interested in the truth of it.

You’re getting into the actual reality instead of the alternate reality that you’ve been thrust into. So baby steps in the right direction.

Yeah, I wonder if this is a part of my slow, waking up within my nutrient bath on the ship far away. Pretty soon they’re going to say he can’t handle the simulation anymore and poop me out like they did Keanu Reeves in The Matrix and I’m going to end up in a pool somewhere discarded.

That’s actually an accurate description of one’s greatest fears in middle age. Laughs. The simulation has no more need for me. The whole system is going to poop me out pretty soon so that others can take my place.

So simulation poop and raccoon poop. Is there anything else you’d like to tell the fine folks of Bethlehem before your show here in the Musikfest Cafe presented by Yuengling?

Yeah, it’s not just poop jokes! It’s more than poop! It’s sincere and funny storytelling by your weird dad, John Hodgman.

EDITOR’S NOTE: John Hodgman will be hanging around after the show to sign stuff and give you weird dad advice.

JOHN HODGMAN: VACATIONLAND
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 17
Musikfest Cafe presented by Yuengling

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Choreographer Takehiro Ueyama Transforms Natural Disaster into Uplifting Dance

By Emily Cummins, ArtsQuest Public Relations Coordinator

On March 10, 2011, acclaimed dancer and choreographer Takehiro “Take” Ueyama was celebrating his birthday in New York with friends. Hours ahead and more than 6,000 miles away, a magnitude-9 earthquake shook the northeastern coast of Japan, unleashing a tsunami that claimed nearly 16,000 lives. Ueyama’s family, living in Tokyo at the time, was unharmed and safe, but it was days before he heard from them.

“My birthday, it always feels strange now,” Ueyama says. “So many people, people from Japan, tried to do something for the victims… go and help, volunteer. Myself, I couldn’t do anything but donate money.”

That was until he began working on “Somewhere Familiar Memories,” a show Ueyama describes as a tribute to the Japan of his childhood.

Born and raised in Tokyo, Ueyama moved to the United States in 1991 to study dance at the Juilliard School in New York City. Upon graduation, he was invited to join the Paul Taylor Dance Company, touring the world with them for eight years. In 2003, Ueyama debuted his first choreographic work, “Tsubasa,” performed with fellow Taylor dancers at the SUNY New Paltz’s McKenna Theatre and four years later, he founded TAKE Dance.

Since its inception, TAKE Dance has been praised for its exciting athletic movement and unusual sensitivity to create distinctive work that is uniquely “TAKE.” The company’s mission is to create and stage works that deepen society’s sensitivity and understanding of the human condition. In recent years, the company has performed at Central Park Summer Stage, Baruch Performing Arts Center, Kaatsbaan International Dance Center, Joyce Theater, Symphony Space, Jacobs Pillow Dance Festival, Sardinia, Italy’s Festival Internazionale Nuova Danza, Washington D.C.’s National Cherry Blossom Festival and more.

Now, Ueyama and the TAKE Dance Company are returning to the ArtsQuest Center’s Musikfest Café presented by Yuengling for the second year with the highly personal and emotional “Somewhere Familiar Melodies,” a contemporary dance production that incorporates the J-Pop and traditional Japanese folk music of Ueyama’s childhood to create a “healing dance” for his people.

“I thought this would be a good opportunity to create something that people can watch and maybe forget for just one hour, feel good, laugh and have fun. Something where people don’t have to face reality for just one hour… It’s also healing for me too, to appreciate where I came from,” he says.

Describing Ueyama and his company as an audience favorite, DANCENOW NYC Executive Artistic Producer & Director Robin Staff, who curates this annual show, says she is thrilled to have TAKE Dance back for the 6th-annual Holiday Show.

“This year’s presentation brings a very special work to the center. ‘Somewhere Familiar Melodies’ was a DANCENOW commission for Joe’s Pub at The Public that was incredibly well received in the city and I am excited to present it again here for the audiences in Lehigh Valley. It is both poignant and highly energetic, and its celebratory message makes for a perfect and sure to be inspirational holiday show.

“As a producer, it is so rewarding to offer a new experience for my audiences, and that is what I am trying to do with DANCENOW SteelStacks — offer up something that they would not have otherwise had the opportunity to enjoy,” she says.

TAKE DANCE Somewhere Familiar Melodies
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15
Musikfest Cafe presented by Yuengling

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