John Hodgman: The Daily Show, Aliens and Raccoon Poop

By Ben Youngerman, ArtsQuest Marketing Manager

Comedian John Hodgman thinks he’s living in a virtual reality machine wandering the cosmos. Since joining The Daily Show as a contributor in 2006, Hodgman feels like such an unlikely person so receive the type of work he has mastered over the years. Currently, he’s the host of the Judge John Hodgman podcast, writes a weekly column for New York Times Magazine as Judge John Hodgman, appears in the show Red Oaks on Amazon, and voices John Glaser’s personal assistant Geary on TruTV’s John Glaser Loves Gear (“It’s wonderful to be able to perform in the nude, which has always been my dream.”)

But when he performs his one-man show “Vacationland” at the Musikfest Cafe presented by Yuengling on November 17, you’ll finally get to see and hear the real, but still hilarious, side of John Hodgman.

We’re very excited to have you here on November 17 for your show…

Hang on, let me check my calendar. Let me check my calendar. Pause. Yup, that’s what I got!

Phew. We’re glad you’re still free. What can fans expect from your “Vacationland” show?

“Vacationland” is a series of personal and true stories about me, an asthmatic child of the city, spending time awkwardly in two distinct wildernesses: the woods of western Massachusetts and the painful, painful beaches of coastal Maine. And along the way I encounter various terrifying events such as taking my garbage to the dump to throw it in a hole and confronting the men who work there, and mysterious river witches of the Pioneer Valley of western Massachusetts and the angry craftspeople who turn wood into boats in Maine.

It’s a story about growing up because when you live in New York City, as I do, you can delude yourself into thinking you are still a young person. Because the city is designed to keep you in a state of perpetual adolescence. You never have to drive, you never have to learn to drive, you can stay up all night in bars with your friends, convince yourself that you’re still in your 20’s. Even if you have your own home, it’s still an apartment which is basically a glorified dorm room. You never have to learn any adult skills or learn how to fix anything in your house because if anything breaks you don’t fix it you call a landlord or super or some other surrogate dad to fix it for you. You don’t need to know what a septic system is. I don’t know what a septic system is and I think I own two of them now. I don’t know what they are.

As someone who just turned 30, all of those are hurtful truths…

We don’t know how to do things the way grown ups of a generation or two ago did. Too many services are foisted upon us until you are alone in the woods with a raccoon latreen on your porch. That’s when you have to learn. Let me give you a hint: if a raccoon poops all over your porch, do not just go out there and clean it up. For 90% of all raccoons and 100% of all of those raccoons’ poops, there is a parasitic roundworm that if it gets into your brain, it will cause you to go into a coma and possibly die. So put on a mask, buy a jump suit and get as far away as possible and call someone to do it for you. Or if you have to do it for yourself take real care. Honestly, I learned this the hard way, the CDC recommends removing raccoon poop by burning it with fire. So that’s why I had to get a flamethrower.

It’s like the old poop in a brown paper bag on a doorstep trick, but to the next level.

Yeah, I mean, if you teamed up with a raccoon and got it to poop into a paper bag and put it on your enemy’s porch and lit it on fire, you would be a murderer. It would not just be a funny trick to watch to that person stamp out that poop, you’d be putting raccoon coma poop on that guy’s foot and maybe even in his body. You would not be able to live with yourself, so don’t do it.

Don’t murder anyone with raccoon poop is a good advice for everyone.

Yes, nature is cruel. It has seeded the woods with wasps and mice and snakes and things that don’t want you there including raccoons that poop poison! It is hard to keep track of which animals in life to love and care for and which to murder with traps and poison.

Most folks know you from The Daily Show; what is your “Deranged Millionaire” persona up to these days?

Oh, I took off my Deranged Millionaire skin and put it in a closet the minute Donald Trump declared his candidacy for President last June. I realized that whole bit was inspired in need by Donald Trump going on all the news channels and claiming Barack Obama wasn’t born in the United States, and all of a sudden he was constantly being sought out as a commentator on the news simply for being a cartoon caricature of a rich person. At the time, we were also going through the aftermath of Occupy Wall Street and a lot of national discussion about wealth inequality and the concentration of power among the 1%. So I said to The Daily Show, we need to have a Trumpian figure on the show because everyone needs to know what the rich people are thinking, and certainly all the rich people think that everybody needs to know what they’re thinking.

So that was the genesis of my character, but once Trump decided to run for President, while you think that character would become more necessary than ever, in fact, he became absolutely obsolete immediately. I think we’ve seen this over the past 18 months, there is no comedy that I felt that I could do as my character that could rival the long-form improv comedy that Donald Trump has been doing himself. There is no exaggeration of him that would ridicule or rival the increasing exaggeration of himself that he is doing all the time.

He’s basically the third-beat of an improv show, he’s the most heightened version is what you’re saying?

Yeah, yeah. There’s no way to go beyond him and there’s no point. I also did not particularly care to suggest that anything about what he was doing was funny or hilarious because it’s equally terrifying. We talk about virtual reality being the next art form. Donald Trump created a virtual reality before our eyes. An alternate dimension where Donald Trump is taken seriously as a candidate, must be taken seriously as a candidate and can say and do the things that he does and suffer no political consequences for it. It’s incredible. So I think at one point I stumbled and fell through a dimensional portal in which Donald Trump was running for President. Who could imagine such a crazy thing. Well, now it is our lives.

So it was around that time that I already had been doing standup and storytelling on my once weekly, now monthly secret show just to figure out what was in my mind after my last book and tour and I discovered that while so much of my comedic career had been built on absurd truths and invented truths and personas and caricatures, I felt more inclined to drop the last costume. Instead of being some version of John Hodgman, just being myself. Loathsome, young middle-aged, badly facial-haired, aging, only-child, weirdo, nerd dad.

You got to tell jokes for the President of the United States at the Radio and Television Correspondents’ Dinner. Looking back 8 years, what was that like?

It’s still astonishing and hard to look back on because I remember so little of it. I mean the thing that really gets me is the distortion field that the President causes is very, very powerful. Such that even though we had a conversation, I remember not a single word of what he said to me. It’s all Charlie Brown Teacher language. It just came off as “womp womp WOMP womp!” It was basically like “Hello, Mr. President.” “Wa Womp womp womp WOMP!” “Yes, Mr. President.” “Womp womp WOMP womp womp womp womp.” “Thank you, Mr. President.” I’m so sad that my brain was so freaked out that it ceased accepting memories.

But I do remember having a really good time, and do distinctly remember that the whole trick of the routine was to get him to flash the “Live Long and Prosper” Vulcan salute hand sign. I thought I was going to have to nerd shame him into doing it by the end of the talk. But the minute I said Mr. Spock. By the time I said “Mr. Spo–” he had that sign up. He was already doing it. That was a fun moment to trade a Star Trek Vulcan salute with the President of the United States.

You have given a few TED Talks, especially about the Fermi Paradox and finding aliens that you gave a few years ago. Since then, have you found any extra evidence or discovered anything to prove that aliens are real?

So the premise of that talk, all of the stories of those weird occurrences, those weird people who talked to me on the street when I was a child in Ocean City, New Jersey. The weird fact that they did make a movie about Christopher Walken receiving an anal probe from an alien. The weird fact that I managed to go on dates with women in my life. These completely un-explainable events were cover memories for actual alien encounters, like my talk with the President, my brain had erased or twisted it into lies. Since then, and especially since 2008 when I gave that TED Talk, my career has just grown more and more implausible I’ve gotten to meet more and more of my heroes and work on more and more interesting and unexpected TV shows and movies. I mean, when you look at me, I’m the last person that should be involved in visual media of any kind. I wonder if now that the truth is that I’ve been in a simulation, that I’ve been asleep in a suspension pod in an alien spacecraft since about 2006. Since the day I first went on The Daily Show I feel like none of it is possibly real, and this Donald Trump delusion is proof that reality would not allow this to happen. So I’m in a simulation.

You wrote a trilogy of books with fake historical trivia in them. Your show at SteelStacks on November 17, you’ll be doing standup in the shadow of the Bethlehem Steel blast furnaces where we made steel for the Golden Gate Bridge, the Empire State Building, Madison Square Garden and ships for World War II. Do you have any fake trivia facts that you can tell us about Bethlehem Steel?

Well, first of all, let me just say thank you for all of those things. And second, the unfortunate answer is no, because making up fake trivia is actually more work than you’d think. I would have to do, and now intend to do, more research into the history of the blast furnaces so I could craft some weird, absurd fact that has a little bit of resonance of truth in it because that’s where the fun comes from. Also because making up fake facts isn’t what I do anymore. I mean it was something that had come so naturally to me for about eight years and then all of a sudden I just felt like telling real facts. That’s basically what I’ve been doing in my on stage storytelling and standup since then. I’m sorry that I can’t tell a lie about your city. I’m more interested in the truth of it.

You’re getting into the actual reality instead of the alternate reality that you’ve been thrust into. So baby steps in the right direction.

Yeah, I wonder if this is a part of my slow, waking up within my nutrient bath on the ship far away. Pretty soon they’re going to say he can’t handle the simulation anymore and poop me out like they did Keanu Reeves in The Matrix and I’m going to end up in a pool somewhere discarded.

That’s actually an accurate description of one’s greatest fears in middle age. Laughs. The simulation has no more need for me. The whole system is going to poop me out pretty soon so that others can take my place.

So simulation poop and raccoon poop. Is there anything else you’d like to tell the fine folks of Bethlehem before your show here in the Musikfest Cafe presented by Yuengling?

Yeah, it’s not just poop jokes! It’s more than poop! It’s sincere and funny storytelling by your weird dad, John Hodgman.

EDITOR’S NOTE: John Hodgman will be hanging around after the show to sign stuff and give you weird dad advice.

JOHN HODGMAN: VACATIONLAND
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 17
Musikfest Cafe presented by Yuengling

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Choreographer Takehiro Ueyama Transforms Natural Disaster into Uplifting Dance

By Emily Cummins, ArtsQuest Public Relations Coordinator

On March 10, 2011, acclaimed dancer and choreographer Takehiro “Take” Ueyama was celebrating his birthday in New York with friends. Hours ahead and more than 6,000 miles away, a magnitude-9 earthquake shook the northeastern coast of Japan, unleashing a tsunami that claimed nearly 16,000 lives. Ueyama’s family, living in Tokyo at the time, was unharmed and safe, but it was days before he heard from them.

“My birthday, it always feels strange now,” Ueyama says. “So many people, people from Japan, tried to do something for the victims… go and help, volunteer. Myself, I couldn’t do anything but donate money.”

That was until he began working on “Somewhere Familiar Memories,” a show Ueyama describes as a tribute to the Japan of his childhood.

Born and raised in Tokyo, Ueyama moved to the United States in 1991 to study dance at the Juilliard School in New York City. Upon graduation, he was invited to join the Paul Taylor Dance Company, touring the world with them for eight years. In 2003, Ueyama debuted his first choreographic work, “Tsubasa,” performed with fellow Taylor dancers at the SUNY New Paltz’s McKenna Theatre and four years later, he founded TAKE Dance.

Since its inception, TAKE Dance has been praised for its exciting athletic movement and unusual sensitivity to create distinctive work that is uniquely “TAKE.” The company’s mission is to create and stage works that deepen society’s sensitivity and understanding of the human condition. In recent years, the company has performed at Central Park Summer Stage, Baruch Performing Arts Center, Kaatsbaan International Dance Center, Joyce Theater, Symphony Space, Jacobs Pillow Dance Festival, Sardinia, Italy’s Festival Internazionale Nuova Danza, Washington D.C.’s National Cherry Blossom Festival and more.

Now, Ueyama and the TAKE Dance Company are returning to the ArtsQuest Center’s Musikfest Café presented by Yuengling for the second year with the highly personal and emotional “Somewhere Familiar Melodies,” a contemporary dance production that incorporates the J-Pop and traditional Japanese folk music of Ueyama’s childhood to create a “healing dance” for his people.

“I thought this would be a good opportunity to create something that people can watch and maybe forget for just one hour, feel good, laugh and have fun. Something where people don’t have to face reality for just one hour… It’s also healing for me too, to appreciate where I came from,” he says.

Describing Ueyama and his company as an audience favorite, DANCENOW NYC Executive Artistic Producer & Director Robin Staff, who curates this annual show, says she is thrilled to have TAKE Dance back for the 6th-annual Holiday Show.

“This year’s presentation brings a very special work to the center. ‘Somewhere Familiar Melodies’ was a DANCENOW commission for Joe’s Pub at The Public that was incredibly well received in the city and I am excited to present it again here for the audiences in Lehigh Valley. It is both poignant and highly energetic, and its celebratory message makes for a perfect and sure to be inspirational holiday show.

“As a producer, it is so rewarding to offer a new experience for my audiences, and that is what I am trying to do with DANCENOW SteelStacks — offer up something that they would not have otherwise had the opportunity to enjoy,” she says.

TAKE DANCE Somewhere Familiar Melodies
THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15
Musikfest Cafe presented by Yuengling

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7 Can’t Miss Events at the Olympus InVision Photo Festival

By Emily Cummins, ArtsQuest Public Relations Coordinator

Celebrating its seventh year, the 2016 Olympus InVision Photo Festival looks to continue its success by providing intimate access to world-class photographers like Ian Ruhter and George Kalinsky, while shifting its focus to hands-on workshops and all-new immersive experiences that engage photographers of all skill levels. With that in mind, ArtsQuest and Olympus invite you to join them Nov. 4-6 for these can’t miss events.

1. Ian Ruhter

   A contemporary photographer who has worked to create the world’s largest wet plate collodion direct positives, Ian Ruhter will debut his most recent project, “Carnival of Dreams,” featuring work from his “Slab City” series depicting life at a homeless encampment in California’s Imperial and Coachella Valley. His exhibition will premiere with an artist lecture Nov. 4 in the Banana Factory’s Banko Gallery and on Nov. 5, he will partner with filmmaker Lauren Vance to show a documentary film about “Carnival of Dreams” and host a talkback session.

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2. In the Footsteps of Walker Evans

   Nov. 6, 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

   Photographers looking to combine their love of history with their medium can spend Sunday afternoon with Olympus Visionary Frank Smith as he leads a guided photography excursion through south Bethlehem. This workshop retraces the work of Evans, the photojournalist who famously captured industrial life in the steel town while documenting the effects of the Great Depression for the Farm Security Administration in the 1930s.

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3. George Kalinsky

   Headlining InVision is George Kalinsky, the house photographer for Madison Square Garden and Radio City Music Hall for more than five decades. During his career, Kalinsky has captured a who’s who of the sports and entertainment industries, including iconic images of John Lennon, Michael Jordan, Elvis Presley and Mohammed Ali. He has also published 10 books and won countless awards including Pratt Institute’s Lifetime Achievement Award.

   Kalinsky’s work has been exhibited at The Museum of Modern Art, the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the International Center of Photography and Tokyo’s Olympus Plaza Gallery, and his concert photography is included in The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum. During InVision, a selection of his photos from the private collection of Monica and David Willard will be on display inside the Alvin H. Butz Gallery at the ArtsQuest Center at SteelStacks. Kalinsky will also lecture Nov. 5, 1-2 p.m., at the ArtsQuest Center.

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4. The Pints and Pics Happy Hour

   Nov. 5, 5:30-9 p.m.

   New to the festival this year is the Pints and Pics Happy Hour at the InVision Photo Party, which offers a unique array of live photography opportunities designed to help people enhance their skills. Party goers will get to test the newest gear Olympus has to offer, including cameras and lenses, at photo stations with skateboarders; dancers; fire spinners; food and concert photography. Olympus Visionaries & Trailblazers will be on hand to offer tips, and the party will conclude with the awards ceremony for the Pennsylvania Photographers’ and College Photographers’ competitions.

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5. InVision Photo Party and Awards Ceremony

   Nov. 5, 7-10 p.m.

   In addition to live music, dancing and refreshments, guests can enjoy a roaming virtual exhibition of photography throughout the ArtsQuest Center followed by an awards ceremony for The Morning Call Young Photographer’s Scholastic Photo Competition, The Pennsylvania Photographer’s Competition, The College Photographer’s Competition and more.

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6. InVision 48 Hour Film Festival

   The new 48 Hour Film Festival challenges filmmakers to produce a short film in 48 hours. Participants will choose between three genres and be given a specific line of dialogue, a character name and specific prop. Selected films will be screened at the Frank Banko Alehouse Cinemas at SteelStacks Nov. 6.

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7. First Friday

   Nov. 4 6-9 p.m.

   Meet Banana Factory’s resident artists for free workshops focused on the innovative ways artists use photos in other mediums including image transfer; screen printing and apparel design; etching on jewelry and photo pendants; incorporating photos into glass art; and more.

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For more information on the Olympus Invision Photo Festival, visit InVisionPhotoFestival.org

“The Voice” Winner Jordan Smith Talks His New Album and Big Dreams

By Emily Cummins, ArtsQuest Public Relations Coordinator

Jordan Smith showed the world his musical gifts in 2015 when he became the best-selling artist in the history of NBC’s reality television singing competition “The Voice.”

During his run, superstar recording artists Adam Levine, Blake Shelton, Gwen Stefani and Pharrell Williams each claimed a red swivel chair during a blind audition. Smith then progressed to live performance shows and competed for America’s votes, ultimately winning Season 9 and a coveted recording contract.

On October 23 Jordan Smith visits the Musikfest Cafe presented by Yuengling, where fans can watch the Kentucky native as he shares the inspirational songs of his debut album “Something Beautiful”. While traveling the world on his first tour, Smith recently took the time to speak with ArtsQuest about his music and explosive success ahead of the release of his new holiday album “Tis The Season,” available October 28. Here’s what he had to say!

A lot of fans know you from “The Voice.” What is your life like now after that breakthrough moment?

Not only was “The Voice” an opportunity to grow as a musician and person, it was a platform that jumpstarted my career in a way that I couldn’t have on my own. I get to spend my time traveling and performing all across the US and even the world. Dream after dream has come true since the finale in December.

As you continue touring and meeting new fans, what experience on the road has been the most fun?

Traveling to new places is my favorite part of this journey. In early September I actually had the opportunity to travel to Florence, Italy and perform along with legends like David Foster, Andrea Bocelli and Reba McEntire at a charity event called Celebrity Fight Night. What a rewarding experience that was! I’m also very fortunate to travel with my wife on many occasions and having her by my side to explore and enjoy each new destination is one of the best parts.

After touring, what are you looking forward to most? Will you be returning to your hometown, Harlan, Kentucky?

I return to my hometown often. The mountains of Eastern Kentucky are a safe place for me and just being there renews my spirit. After touring, I will be sure to get back there and celebrate the upcoming holidays with my family!

Your music and the message behind your songs are an inspiration to others, but where did the inspiration for the original songs on your album “Something Beautiful” come from and what drives you as an artist?

Much of the original music on the album came from a place of personal experience. All of the songs on the project, both original material and cover songs, help tell my story so far as an artist. I want to make relatable music that people connect with; I want people to hear my songs and think of a time, person or event in their life when they felt the same way. I also want my music to be a positive force in the lives of my listeners that causes them to feel uplifted and more encouraged than before they started listening.

What music or artists influence you, and what’s your favorite song of 2016?

I pull influence from many different artists of very different genres. I like everything from Sara Bareilles to Hillsong to Florence and the Machine. I am inspired most by music that is authentic to the artist and carries a message that is important to them. It’s hard to choose a favorite song of 2016, but if I did it would have to be Adele’s “Remedy.”

With your first album, tour, your wedding and other huge milestones checked off, do you have a bucket list of things you want to accomplish or do?

I am always setting new goals. For example, I would love to write a book one day. Closest to the top of the list is one day singing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl!

What animal do you think reflects your personality best and why?

This is a hilarious question! Badgers are my spirit animal. I mean, who doesn’t love a badger? I do.

Jordan Smith of The Voice
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 23
Musikfest Cafe presented by Yuengling

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Your Musikfest Favorites Return!

Photo of Scythian: Alyssa Meadows

Musikfest is undoubtedly the best ten days of the summer, bringing hundreds of incredible musicians to Bethlehem once a year. The problem is just that, though: it’s only once a year. It’s difficult to wait 365 days to see and hear your favorite bands you’ve grown to love! But we’ve got you covered, fellow ‘festers…

The Musikfest spirit continues year-round in the Musikfest Cafe presented by Yuengling at SteelStacks! ArtsQuest brings in hundreds of world-class acts to the venue every year. The ones on this list are the performers you’ve made memories with while holding a mug of cold beer in one hand and some corn in the other! With Mummies, Sofa Kings, Elvises, Outlaws, Nerds and many more on the schedule, the warm summer months won’t feel so far away…

The Nerds– 1/6 – buy tickets

The Nerds may not have been invited to many popular parties as kids, but they sure know how to throw one at Musikfest every year! Their entertaining act is 20 years old and still going strong like the Energizer bunny, or more like the deadly bunny guarding the cave from Monty Python’s Holy Grail…

The Amish Outlaws– 1/27 – buy tickets

The crowds spilled out of Volksplatz this year to see the Rumspringa to end all Rumspringas! Four out of The Amish Outlaws’ original six members were born and raised in Lancaster, PA and had a strict Amish upbringing. Since then, they’ve become very well acclimated to the pleasures and vices of the modern world…music, most of all!

The Blues Brotherhood– 1/28 – buy tickets

Hold on to your hats, shades and Musikfets mugs as the Blues Brotherhood captures the sound, energy, and persona that propelled the original “Blues Brothers” into the phenomenon that still thrills audiences around the world.

Strawberry Fields– 2/24 – buy tickets

Strawberry Fields, The Ultimate Beatles Tribute Band, were a huge hit as the headliners for Musikfest’s British Invasion Night in 2016! Strawberry Fields performs in full costume to play all of the hits that made the Beatles most famous. They’ve even played Beatles-sized venues like Shea Stadium and Yankee Stadium! “Come Together” for this awesome show!

Nik Greeley and the Operators– 2/25 – buy tickets

If you caught Nik Greeley and the Operators’ set this past Musikfest at Air Products Americaplatz, you know why he’s arguably the best frontman and performer in Philadelphia. We’re excited to welcome them back to Bethlehem for a special show in the Fowler Blast Furnace Room!

Enter the Haggis– 3/10 – buy tickets

For several ‘fests, Toronto’s Enter The Haggis has been bringing a rock edge to contemporary celtic music by effortlessly melding bagpipes and fiddles with classic rock n’ roll instrumentation. Just in time for St. Patrick’s Day, they’re back in Bethlehem!

Burning Bridget Cleary– 3/17 – buy tickets

Burning Bridget Cleary has earned a reputation for presenting high-spirited Celtic tunes at Musikfest. When is it more appropriate to hear them again than the week of St. Patrick’s Day! Grab your lucky friends, a couple green Yuenglings and come party with the band in the Musikfest Cafe!

Boogie Wonder Band– 3/18 – buy tickets

If you missed Boogie Wonder Band’s presence at Musikfest this year (unforunately, we can’t have every band back every year), now’s your chance to get your fix! The funkiest, most disco-loving band in all the land, Boogie Wonder Band is party central. With crazy costumes and a very solid set of musicians, they get crowds into the music like few others can.

Here Come the Mummies– 3/31 – buy tickets

Here Come the Mummies may be the undead, but they make Musikfest feel alive every time they take the stage! This eight-piece funk-rock band of 5000 year-old Egyptian Mummies and their “Terrifying Funk from Beyond the Grave” is sure to get you into them (and possibly vice versa).

Beyond your favorite Musikfest acts, world-class acts are always being added to the lineup at SteelStacks and the Musikfest Cafe presented by Yuengling! Check out the full list of upcoming acts coming to Bethlehem soon!